May it be noted that any penguin provided by P.O.D. is property thereof, and any misuse of the product in punishable by law.
This includes:
-Eating said product
-Beating said product (esp. with newspaper. Making a penguin black and white and red all over is not funny)
-Forcing said product to carry you around on its back
-Painting said product white and forcing it to quack for your sick amusement
-Replacing your child with said product in school play. Our penguins have enough to remember without being forced to memorize Shakespeare.
-Convincing said product to do your taxes. Penguins are not good at math and the joke will ultimately be on you.
-Launching said product into outer space and/or the moon. Unless you give them a spacesuit first. Then it's ok.
-Teaching said product to tap dance, then pointing and laughing and saying "Look! Happy feet!" Tap dancing is never funny. The only thing less amusing is referencing the movie Happy Feet.
-You MAY take said product to your DEBUTANTE but PLEASE REMEMBER the number one rule of Penguin on the Date. The penguin is not your date!!
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